In-between

The english language is not beautiful sounding, eloquently delivered or full of enough vocabulary words to express emotions. The lack of emotional descriptors in my native tongue coupled with my "all or nothing" or "black or white" thinking is making my current gray relationship zone particularly uncomfortable.

In high school (and college) I remember saying "I love you" (to not just 1 but 3 boyfriends!) after only a month. Looking back on it I know I did not love them at that moment. And sometimes I wonder if I ever loved them at all. I've decided that I loved them as best anyone can at 14, 16 and 19. However, I digress, the point is I said it way to early and now I know why; there are no words to say during those wildly perfect silent moments that occur while gazing into each other's eyes (I swear it does happen, just like in the movies) early on in the relationship.

Now, I am 24 and have been dating The Pilot for 2 months and haven't uttered those 3 words; actually I haven't even thought them. What I have thought is that I "more than like" him. And my immediate next thought is, how do I verbalize that? When you "more than like" someone but less than love them how do you say that?

"I really like you" sounds cheesy or juvenile. So I've been saying "you make me happy." I have also tossed out an "I enjoy our time together" a couple of times. Instead of saying something, should I just relish those silent moments for what they are; a representation of the lack of words available to articulate my current thoughts and feelings?

But shouldn't there be a word? Just one word to place on the continuum between like and love?