I might be eating pizza

But I can.  Today I went to Bikram Yoga and worked my ass off for 90 minutes.  Blood, sweat, tears and contorting my body into positions I never knew possible, certainly deserves a celebratory pizza.

Also;  I’ve lost 15 pounds since August 10, 2010.  At one point the pounds lost was actually 19.  No matter the number, the most important and wonderful thing is, that I fit my body into a size 8 dress for White House/Black Market!

The combination of Bikram yoga, running, weights, and Weight Watchers has really helped me to build self confidence and a positive body image.

And just an fyi, the pizza is thin crust and frozen, so I am completely in control of how many calories I am taking in.

Graduation then and now

Undergrad graduation August 2006

Grad school graduation November 2010

Jojo and the Pilot make plans for the future

No.  I am NOT engaged.  I am certainly NOT married. 

But after two years of dating (remember this Friday night or our first summer together?) the Pilot and I moved in together!!

I have claimed to hate the 4th of July, but that sentiment is gradually changing.  This year especially, because that was the weekend I moved into my boyfriend's apartment permanently. 

He said it best, we were celebrating my independence that weekend.  I had my masters degree.  I had my adult, real world job.  I was living with my boyfriend (independent from the help of my parents).  Mostly it was exciting to celebrate the progression of our relationship and the healthy approach we have taken with every step of the relationship.

It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies that weekend.  In fact, it was quite overwhelming with many tears.  But now I can look back on it with a smile and say all my worries were for nothing because I've never been happier.

Even though I'm learning it takes a lot of hard work, motivation and discipline to run a household, stay on top of the laundry, get the dishes washed and occasionally cook.

I'm working on it though.  Because these plans with the Pilot have afforded me the opportunity to live my life the way I always wanted too.

Will I have a career or am I doomed to forever be a student?

So where was I?  Oh yes!  Making a plan of attack for May.  This plan looked something like this:

1. Talk to seminar Professor
2. E-mail psychoanalytic mentor
3. Meet with Comps grader
4. Read Nancy McWilliams
5. Read more Nancy McWilliams
6. Read a third Nancy McWilliams book
7. Organize all class notes that could be of possible interest while taking the exam

Implementing this plan took me from March until the day I picked up the exam in May.  I had two weeks to write my exam, which was picked up on a Monday.  By Friday of the first week I had six pages of nonsense written (I still thank my ENC1101 teacher and Anne Lamott for this writing approach).  I woke up on the first Saturday morning, looked at the Pilot and said, "I'm redoing it.  I'm squeezing the client into the theory, instead of the using the theory to describe the client."

I re-wrote that part and completed subsequent parts all by the close of the first week.  This meant I had a whole week to edit, add and refine my work.  I passed the first draft off to my mom and the Pilot who both edited it and asked many questions to help me clarify my writing.  I woke up at some other point that week and decided to rework one more aspect of the paper and then was completely confident in what I had written and only needed to edit and pay attention to page limits.  I finished it at 7:30 pm the night before it was due, printed it the following morning and turned it in, among much panic.  Remember, if I didn't pass the test this time around I would not be graduating on my projected graduation date.

Additional pressure about graduating on time was coming from other places; my practicum site.  Back in March (the same week I found out I hadn't passed the exam the first time) I was interviewing potential interns for next year.  After all the interviews had been conducted, my supervisors took me out for a dinner meeting to discuss my thoughts, their thoughts and hopefully land on a decision.  We all agreed within the first 5 minutes of the meeting who we would like to offer the position too (although she ended up declining, having taken a position elsewhere); which left a lot of time to chat about other stuff.  My supervisors had a hidden agenda all along; THEY OFFERED ME A JOB!!!  So passing the test in May, not only meant that I would graduate on time, it also meant that I would employed upon graduation.

On June 18, 2010 I returned to school to pick up my exam results.  The Pilot was unable to accompany me there this time, but requested I call him as soon as I got the envelope so he could be on the phone with me when I opened it.  I called (3 times before he answered), opened the exam, and read aloud, "Congratulations, you have passed!"  I was jumping up and down in a dark, abandoned classroom as I continued to read further comments that included this gem; "You met or exceeded our expectations on every critical domain."  I hung up with the Pilot, called my parents and then my supervisor.

Ten days later, I had finished my required 750 hours of intern work and walked into the Lighthouse as an employee!  My graduation ceremony is in November, but I am officially practicing therapy with an MACL!

Running as a metaphor for my academic career

Remember the stress that occurred six weeks prior to my birthday?  The first two weeks of January I was writing a paper (a comprehensive exam to be more exact) that would make or break my academic career- pass the exam and graduate or fail and have to take it again in May. Failing the exam was an unbearable, crippling thought- what if, then in May, I did not pass?  Then I really wouldn't graduate "on time" (because the next, and last opportunity, to take the exam would be in January, long after my set graduation date of November).

Well, proving the theory that "what we focus on grows," I did not pass my January exam.  The test was broken up into three parts and I only passed one.  This meant I would have to retake the remaining two sections in May.  Devastation set in.  Regrets came pouring out in the form of tears.  The Pilot silently and patiently drove the car home, so I could quiver in disappointment and wallow in self pity for the remainder of the day.  I did just that, crawling into bed shortly after I received the news and slept.

The next morning I woke up, still reeling, but forced to move on, duty calls.  I went for a run.  A horribly slow, incredibly painful 3 mile run.  I pushed through the physical pain, crying for most of the run, from the combination of physical discomfort and emotional disappointment. 

However, I finished the run, without stopping or taking walking breaks.  And a powerful thought came over me upon completion of the run; "The run was difficult, but I finished!  And I am a better, stronger, and healthier person for having done it." 

The same can be said for my academic career- it has been a difficult, challenging road (with MANY unexpected twist and turns) to obtain my Masters degree, but overcoming those obstacles will make me a better, strong, healthier person and certainly a better therapist.  Armed with this metaphor I made an action plan and moved on towards May..

Sneak Peek

I've been composing blogs in my head for months.  I just never seem to have the time or drive to actually type and publish them.  Here is a short list of what will (hopefully) being appearing on Mastering Mind Body & Spirit soon.

• Running as a metaphor for my academic career
• "The 4 of us" (my thoughts on female friendships in groups of 4)
• My temporary vacation from eating red meat
• My psychoanalytic reading list
• Jojo and the Pilot make plans for the future
• Will I have a career or am I doomed to forever be a student?

Interviewee becomes interviewer

Exactly one year (to the day), after my interview at work, I was handed a stack of new intern applications to familarize myself with because 2nd round interviews will be conducted by me!

It is bittersweet.  And throws into harsh reality for me what the next couple of months will be bringing my way.  I have to complete practicum, apply for and take the liscensing exam and find a job.  Hopefully, all this can be accomplished by September 1 (at the latest)!

I am sad to leave practicum because I have wonderful supervision, guidance, and support there.  But, I am excited to actually get paid for all this hard and mentally exhausting work I am doing.  No more babysitting.  Stable salary.  Set schedule.  Basically, I want to start my adult life.

I cannot think of a better way to become an adult, then conduct interviews for your replacement.  What questions should I ask?