Mastering Mind: My Birthday

Today is my 29th birthday.  To be perfectly honest, I’m feeling very apathetic about the whole thing.  I think I’m getting to that stage in life where it’s just another day.  Just another year.

I can think of several reasons why I might have cultivated this blasé attitude this year; my husband isn’t here to celebrate with me, I’ve been consumed with so much sadness, I’m having a hard time celebrating anything, I was away for a long weekend in January and spent so much time planning that, that I didn’t really plan for my birthday, it’s not a milestone birthday.

But as I write this, the real reason is surfacing and it’s because over the last few years my birthday has been clouded by bad events.  Unconsciously, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.  So, what does all this have to do with Mastering my Mind this week?

Well, this year I am going to actively change my mind.  Change my outlook.  Change my expectations.  And, how, you ask, will I do that?  A Gong Bath, of course!!

When the e-mail appeared in my inbox that this Gong Bath was occurring, I knew immediately what I wanted to do to celebrate my birthday and enter into the next year of my life!

Today I will mindfully set an intention for the Gong Bath and my this next year.  Tonight, I will lay down in Shavasana for 90 beautiful minutes and let the sounds and vibrations of the gong and the Starnes Sisters voices wash over me, heal me and reinvigorate me for my year ahead.

*If I peaked your interest, more information about Gong Baths can be found here.*

Mastering Spirit: The Hard Lesson in Death

Since Christmas Day, death has spiraled around me.  Six people once removed from me have died;  a client’s mom, friend’s boyfriend’s grandfather, husband’s great-aunt, etc.  The news started slowly at first, the day after Christmas, and then picked up speed 20 days later, peaking last Thursday.

My husband is away for 3 weeks (the subject of another post, I’m sure), so last Thursday I was tasked with going to his Great-Aunt’s visitation on my own.  Her death was only made bearable because she had lived 92 amazing years on this earth and had spent the last week in Hospice, so her passing wasn’t a surprise.  Still, going to the visitation was a difficult and uncomfortable thing for me to do; talking to family members I barely know, offering condolences about a woman I’ve only met once, driving 75 minutes to the middle of no where in the dark. 

Then, Thursday became even more difficult, when the friend of a friend called to inform me that our mutual friend’s father had died unexpectedly at the age of 63.  This piece of news, this death, was my breaking point.  It shook me to the core.  The similarities between her father and my own Dad are countless and now my dear friend was living out my worst nightmare.

I started questioning what sort of message I was supposed to be getting from all these deaths.  Was there a lesson?  Or is 2013 just meant to be a shitty year?  I knew all the logical answers; talk to my Dad and Mom about their health, take care of my own health (eat right, exercise, sleep more, drink less), drive safely, tell people important to me that I love them, but I couldn’t help but think there was more to it…

I got my answer on Monday morning at my friend’s father’s funeral (also attended without the loving support of my husband) with the Gospel reading, John 14:1-6:

“Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You have faith in God; have faith also in me.
In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.
If there were not, would I have told you
  that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
  I will come back again and take you to myself,
  so that where I am you also may be.
Where I am going you know the way.”

Thomas said to him,
  “Master, we do not know where you are going;
  how can we know the way?”

Jesus said to him,
  “I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Death is sorrowful, but faith is strong.  I have to believe that these people are in a better place. 

My lesson is this; I am choosing to let these deaths strengthen my faith, when I believe most people (even me in the past) would begin questioning theirs.

Mastering Mind, Body & Spirit: September Success

Ok, enough.  It’s January.  I had planned on writing all about my September successes in October.  Obviously, that worked out well

The worst part about not writing about my September success, is that I have so many other things I want to be writing about.  But, because of some extreme personal insecurities, I refuse to log on to the blog.  Looking at the blog, reminds me of writing failures and commitment inconsistencies.

However, today, I am exercising a different attitude.  So what if I’ve been writing inconsistently for months and years?  I can start again today.  I can just get up and keep trying. 

But before I get up and try again, I am going to very quickly and very succinctly close out the September Success series.  So without all the background and dramatic details, here are the two amazing things I accomplished in September 2012:

• I got licensed in the state of Illinois as a Licensed Professional Counselor
• I ran my first marathon in 4:45:02

Mastering Mind: September Success Background

I know I haven’t written in forever and I’m not really sure why.  I have a ton of blog ideas, I just somehow never manage to be disciplined enough to write them.  Oddly enough, though, this September Success story is all about discipline.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s discuss the September Success thing first.  Some major life events occurred for me in September and I’m excited to share those successes with you.  So, without further ado, lets discuss the background that lead to last month’s mind milestone.

In November of 2010, I graduated from grad school with my Masters degree in Clinical Psychology.  I was fortunate enough to be employed right away, but to progress further in my career I need to be licensed. 

Illinois has a two tier licensing system, the first of which is a computerized test basically based off of the knowledge you acquired during school.  This first test can be taken immediately after graduation.  I wasn’t that smart.  I got distracted.

The week after graduation I got engaged.

And spent the next year planning a wedding, instead of studying for and taking my licensing exam.

On November 5, 2011 I got married!!!

Then starting in 2012, I examined my career goals and what steps needed to be taken to get myself there.  It was time to study and become licensed.

Sounds simple enough, but took most of the year.

To be continued…

Mastering Body: I’m a running snob

and I still believe calling myself a runner is a stretch.  But,  I discovered last week (runner or not) that I am picky about my runs and seem to think that my way of running is not only the best way, but the only way.

The Pilot’s co-pilot (we will call him Co-Pilot ) has recently taken up running.  The Pilot’s love for running is contagious and seems to have converted many couch potatoes over the years.  It started innocently enough, Co-Pilot would join the Pilot on runs while they were on trips together, but suddenly, Co-Pilot’s new found love of running took on a life of it’s own and subsequently got in the way of mine!

Co-Pilot found a forest preserve near his house and once while running (without the Pilot) ran into an old high school friend who runs with an ultra marathon trail running group.  This meeting gave birth to Co-Pilot’s insane obsession with long distance trail runs.

I, on the other hand, enjoy running outside on the streets near my house or on the treadmill.  I train for road races and see absolutely no need to get muddy, jump over fallen tree limbs or dodge rocks while running.  Co-Pilot loves this atmosphere and begged the Pilot and I to join him for a run last week.

My nice little running plan called for a 9 mile run this weekend and after observing the freakishly high temps occurring in my area, I settled on running those 9 miles on Friday outside in 50* weather!  I was pumped.  I was psyched.  I was ready.  I could do this.  Then the Pilot asked me to run my 9 miles at the Co-Pilot’s trail.  Ugh.  Dream crusher.

I reluctantly went along on this crazy trail run, although it didn’t feel like running.  It felt like fast walking, hiking, hurtling and kicking mud.  The inclines slowed me to a crawl and the unseasonably warm temps had turned the trails into a complete muddy mess.  It was hard work and something I will never do again (hence, being a running snob).

I just wanted to run a nice flat 9 miler at 10:30 minutes per mile (faster than I’ve ever run it before).  Instead I ran/walked 8.85 miles at 14:30 minutes pet mile.  Trail running is different and I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea that it was a good different. 

At the end of the day I couldn’t be proud of myself for hanging in there with the boys and completing a distance run that literally included hills and obstacles.  I just wanted to bitch about how slow we were going and how (for me) run/walking felt like a slip backwards in training.

Upon reflection, I can see how awesome it was.  I challenged my legs and lungs in a new and exciting way.  The weather in January was nice enough for us to spend 2 hours running outside.  The sun started to beautifully set while we were on the run.  I was able to incorporate hills and distance into one workout.  Co-Pilot smiled the whole time, proud to be showing us his stomping grounds (and then his wife joined us at an awesome beer joint for celebratory brews). 

And most importantly, this was another run in which the Pilot willingly ran at my pace (something that has been happening with greater frequency recently)!

Mastering Body: What’s Working This Time

Several times during my inconsistent blogging career, I’ve made grand proclamations about losing weight and documenting my process on the blog (examples are here, here and here).  While I do not consistently share the results (usually because there are none) I have shared some successes too (here and here).

This lack of project completion makes me scared to share (anything) on the blog.  Other bloggers talk about how their blog and their blog readers hold them accountable…I haven’t found that motivation (maybe because I haven’t found readers?)

But, (fingers crossed) things are going well over here in the weight loss/body confidence department, so I wanted to share with you what is helping (this time).

• My new bike (mine is white, looks super hot and was an early wedding gift from the Pilot; pictures to come)
• The Garmin Forerunner 210 (another early wedding present!!  What should I get him?)
• The 17 day diet (forcing me to eat what I already know I should be eating)
• Eat, Drink and Be Gorgeous (reminding me that moderation is key and to eat my protein first)
• My Fitness Pal (free calorie counter that has a HUGE database of calorie counts and the android app has barcode scanner to make food tracking even easier!)
• Peanut Butter Fingers (Julie’s motivation to wake up early and exercise daily is morning inspiration for me)
• Carrots N Cake (I love everything about Tina’s blog, but her real life confessions make me realize we are all human and that we all struggle from time to time)
• Healthy Tipping Point (Caitlin is the author of Operation Beautiful, a book I recommend to clients struggling with self-esteem issues, whose writing potential was discovered through her blog.  Have I mentioned that I have a book idea?) 
• Meal and Miles (Meghann has given me the guts to try all sorts of fun and wacky food combinations to keep my limited food intake exciting)
• The Fitnessista (Gina’s exercise recommendations leave no reason for me to become bored at the gym or enter into an exercise rut)
• Pretty Little Words (Shout out to fellow Chicago blogger, Laura, who I recently discovered and was immediately jealous of her witty writing style)

So that’s it folks; these are the things I am finding most helpful and supportive as I attempt to lose weight and shape-up this time (for my wedding!).

Mastering Mind: Working from Home

At work, I set my own hours.  This has been a blessing and a curse.  The good news is it affords me the opportunity to go into the office only when I have clients scheduled.  The bad news is it affords me the opportunity to go into the office only when I have clients scheduled.  Basically, I have little motivation to complete the other tasks required by my job (session notes, networking, community outreach, blog and article writing).  I just want to see my clients and go home.

However, upon recent reflection and evaluation of my career goals, I realized that just seeing clients was not enough to get me where I want to go.  I need to get out and make connections, so people know who I am, what I am about and why they should send their clients/friends to see me.

With that discovery I made a new plan.  This plan includes a commitment to work from home (when tasks allow).  In the past, I would claim I was going to do some stuff for work and never get around to it or I would drive all the way (45 mins) to the office to complete tasks that can really be done from home.  This is all changing.  If it can be done from home and I set the intention to do it from home, I will do it!!

Last Monday morning I worked from home, responding to correspondence, blogging, and making community outreach/networking plans.  This was an a great way to ease into this idea because these were small task and did not require that I spread out to much.

This week however, the tasks became more involved and a challenge arose when the one desk we have was being occupied by the Pilot, who was also working from home today.

I can get over not having a desk, if he can get over this mess

The real challenge was wanting to spend time with him and not do my work.  But, I mastered that challenge today!  I said I was going to work from home and gosh-darn-it, I did! 

My work stuff was completed in such a timely fashion that I was able to complete several personal tasks too (the major one being Save the Dates!!)

Stay tuned for a very exciting Mastering Body post!!